Top 10 Moments of Red Dwarf X
Top 10 Moments of Red Dwarf X

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10. Fruit loops
You know how the saying goes. When life hands you lemons, make them into a battery so you can teleport back to your ship in the distant future. That was the plan that led the Dwarfers to walk all the way from Britain to India, to buy some. And by some we mean eight. "You walked across half the known world for eight lemons?" asked the baffled market seller. "You're right, that's absolutely insane," Rimmer agreed. "Make it ten."
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9. Wielding the wibbly gun
In one of Red Dwarf's most spectacular action sequences (why, it probably cost at least fifty quid to film), the gang positioned Blue Midget between attacking simulant ships and used a matter-altering weapon (or "wibbly gun", to use the Cat's technical phrase) to make the hull permeable so the simulants' rockets whooshed harmlessly in and out of the Midget.
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8. Copy Cat
We don't often get to see Kryten and the Cat having a good old banter. But thanks to coincidence-triggering crystals from a quantum rod, the pair started saying exactly the same things at the same time. It was beautiful in a way. Beautiful but maddening. Like the Cat's coat collection.
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7. Boy meets vending machine
Look, it can get lonely when you're the last human alive. And when the only female voice you hear is emitted by a vending machine, well... a man's going to get some ideas, right? Right? OK, not unless you're Lister, who horrified everyone by chatting up one of the voluptuous inanimate objects. But he wasn't actually trying to bonk this one – he was just trying to pick it up after it fell over. Honest!
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6. Holly, all is forgiven
This isn't so much "one" moment as every scene featuring demented ship's computer Pree. Now, Holly might have been on the inept side, but at least he didn't, you know, try to kill the entire crew. Which is more than can be said for Pree, who was very much of the "Hal 9000" school of computer-human relations. (If you haven't seen 2001: A Space Odyssey, what we're trying to say is she's a smegging psycho.)
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5. Bad news charades
Only the Cat could use bad news as an excuse to play charades. But what the heck, the others went along with it – there's naff all else to do on the ship after all. Cue lots of ingenious gyrations and shape-throwing by the Cat, while Rimmer panicked and saw everything as a "giant death worm". To date, no giant death worms have been seen in the vicinity, but hopefully they can include one in the next series. Rimmer really seems keen on them.
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4. Daddy discipline
Lest we forget, Lister's his own father. And let's face it, he's not been a very attentive parent to himself. So he decided to rectify this by giving himself a stern talking to – which involved recording a message to himself, from father to son, while getting progressively wasted on hooch so he wouldn't remember it later, when watching it back. The result: one of the most brilliantly surreal moments in Dwarf history.
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3. An unnecessary disembowelling
If there's one thing worse than committing hara-kiri, it's doing it by accident. That's what happened to a simulant after he reported his failure to kill Lister to his superior officer, and was promptly handed a sword as his punishment. It was only after gutting himself that he was told his punishment was to polish the sword, rather than twisting out his insides with it. Bugger.
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2. Fighting Jesus
"I'm not fighting you Jesus, it'd be like punching Gandhi." These were Lister's immortal words – destined to be included in the next edition of the Bible – when he was confronted by the (apparent) Messiah. So he went and got Jesus in a headlock instead. If the whole cast and crew get struck by lightning anytime soon, you'll know why.
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1.Lister's meltdown
Having been kept on hold to a call centre, Lister finally lost it when he was prevented from making a formal complaint. What ensued was a masterpiece of a meltdown, with Lister whirling, spitting and... oh, we've got to quote the whole Shakespearean speech: "I'm the last human being ALIVE goddamnit! And if I don't answer that phone and make a formal complaint who will? I'm a human BEING goddamnit ! My life has value! And if I have to die so no other life form has to go through this maze of HELL, so be it!" Give the man an Emmy.