Top 10 Alan Partridge Quotes
One man's every syllable brings us more joy than Cheryl Cole's glossy hair. Take a bow, Alan Partridge.

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"Kiss my face"
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"Smell my cheese, you mother!"
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"Well Sonja, that was classic intercourse"
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"Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine"
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"Lynn - they're sex people"
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"They're only the band The Beatles could have been."
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"Eat my goal!"
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"Stop getting Bond wrong!"
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"Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!"
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"Divorced. I've got access to the kids... But they don't wanna see me."