10. London city airport. Where form meets function. AND THEY HAVE A FIGHT
An occupational hazard of being a globe-trotting star is that you have to spend a lot of time in the devil's waiting room, or airports as we humans know them. Stephen never misses an opportunity to be wryly witty, even when his senses are being diminished by the ugliness of aeronautics.
9. I am stuck in a lift on the 26th floor of Centre Point. Hell's teeth. We could be here for hours. Arse, poo and widdle.
One of the great things about Twitter is its ability to connect users to the world, wherever they are. In Stephen's case this meant he could distract himself from the tedium of being stuck in a lift by updating his army of followers, and making the word widdle seem quietly menacing.
You'd think Stephen, who's seemingly made of tweed, would be a restrained sort of chap, but he's actually a rabble-rouser. When Twitter user Paul Chambers got in hot water over a 'threatening' tweet against an airport Stephen was among thousands of users who re-tweeted it in solidarity.
7. Pity. Well it’s been fun.
Stephen's a man of passion and when he had a wee online spat with a follower who called him 'boring' he announced that he was walking away from Twitter for good. Luckily he soon relented – Twitter without Stephen would be like a World Cup without an England player weeping about missing a penalty.
6. I gather a repulsive nobody writing in a paper no one of any decency would be seen dead with has written something loathsome and inhumane
No Stephen Fry, you should say what you really think. Another great upside of following Stephen's tweets is that you get to hear his take on the big issues, as well as the little day-to-day stuff, and when a certain paper ran a vile column about Stephen Gately's death it got both Fry barrels.
5. Still taking deep breaths. Thank you all for your concern. The Vista devil spoke thru me and it wasn't pretty.
Stephen's a Mac obsessive, and he owned the second one ever sold in this fair nation. His attempts to use a Windows, then, were unsurprisingly frustrating and resulted in the sort of language you'd expect to hear if Amy Winehouse dropped a brick on her foot.
4. Bleugh. Whoever invented the breakfast meeting should be roundly spanked
We're fully with you on this one Stephen. If there's one thing worse than having to get up early it's having to pretend that your mind works before midday. Breakfast meetings are up there with 'fun runs' in the grand scheme of ill-thought-out ideas.
3. Just had a lunch. No, not a lunch. A LUNCH. Of the kind popularised last century. I may never bend in the middle again
Stephen shows us the way forward in terms of decadence, proving that he, like his idol Oscar Wilde, can resist anything except temptation. And probably chocolate puddings.
2. In car on way to location. I play a labourer who gets beaten up. Poor me. I know what you're thinking: Typecast again.
Yes, if there's one thing that springs to mind when you think of Stephen it's a rough-round-the-edges artisan. Always wolf-whistling isn't he? If only he'd stay out of trouble and tidy himself up a bit, his career might just take off, you know...
1. Now look here, filthy-minded dogs. When I say I am "doing R & J" it means - as well you know - that I'm on their prog, not shafting them x
When Stephen told his followers about his trip to 'do Richard and Judy' it resulted in the kind of smut which would shame a 13 year old boy, it seems. Luckily Stephen restored his honour, and that of the first couple of chat, with this lovely clarification.