10. The gruesome twosome
One plus side about the Emohawk who came aboard Starbug and very nearly ended the lives of all the crew was that it gave us a reintroduction to the twin delights of Duane Dibley and Ace Rimmer. Ace was, as usual, the exact opposite of his pube-haired alternate Rimmer, putting himself firmly in the line of danger and trying his utmost to prove that it's possible to do more with Rimmer genes than cower in a cupboard quietly soiling yourself.
9. The axe man cometh
In Lister's mind he's a cross between Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix, but in reality he's more like the bloke who carries the amps for Snow Patrol. When the crew were forced to choose between the real Listie and his impersonator, there was only one way of finding out who was the real deal. That poor replicant didn't stand a chance the second he played a single right note, did he?
8. Back to the future
We might have made any number of predictions about the way things would work out for our favourite intrepid space cadets, but none of them would have involved them becoming space-trotting epicureans with a love of fine dining and a strange fetish for hanging out with the Hitlers. A fate worse than listening to Rimmer's Hammond Organ tapes on a loop…
7. Hard-case Arnie
For all the years after Red Dwarf's crew were turned into little bits of dust, Arnold had to get by without the ability to touch anything, so Legion's sophisticated technology which turned him into a hard light hologram was a pretty massive leap forward. Not only did it improve Rimmer's quality of life enormously, but think of all the scary baddies and potential sexual partners it meant he could avoid touching.
6. All my Rimmers
In the beginning was the Rimmer, and then there was frigging loads of them. Such is the creation story of Rimmerworld, in which one weasely hologram's attempts to make a wife (well, technically a sister) ended up in an entire race of Rimmers, each more cowardly than the next. If you thought the concept of an entire planet of Rimmers was damaging, just spare a thought for Arnie's poor worry balls. 500 odd years is a long time to be grinding…
5. This town ain't big enough…
Proving that Westerns aren't just for father's day, Kryten saddled on up in an attempt to sort out the virus that was sweeping through Starbug's system. As well as proving the most ineffectual law enforcer since Deputy Dawg was signed off with depression, Krytie enlisted the help of the lamest gunswingers in all of the west, in the shape of the Dwarfers. Less John Wayne, more Wayne Sleep.
4. Sister act
We all have old crushes buried deep in the Clearasil-scented recesses of our adolescence, but Lister's almost led to him having more than just a broken heart. When Pete Tranter's sexy sister appeared, in the deceptive shape of a brain-slurping Psiren, Listie knew she wasn't real, but couldn't resist playing tonsil hockey anyway. Sadly for all of us lot, we got to see what he was really snogging, and were put off visiting the insect house at London Zoo forever.
3. Guess who's coming to dinner?
Bearing in mind the emotional distress Rimmer suffered when he was faced with a bowl of Gazpacho soup, the mind boggles at the chaos caused by dinner round Legion's gaff. Those fancy-dan eating implements may be all well and good for a serene personality absorbing type like Legion, but in the hands of Lister they were the equivalent of giving a gibbon a violin.
2. Bride of Lister
Lister, for as long as we've known the lad, has had his beady eye on Kochanski. He might have been a tad disappointed then, to learn that on his wedding day he would be pulling up the veil of a rather less fragrant female - or a GELF who looked a bit like SuBo if her depilator broke. There's taking one for the team, and then there's marrying someone hairier than Wayne Rooney's knuckles.
1. Holding out for a hero
There are a few things which are so unlikely as to be pretty much not worth considering. U2 making a good album. Spurs winning the league. Simon Cowell getting hitched. Add to those Arnold Judas Rimmer doing something which could be termed 'heroic'. Well, dust off the bunting and make sure you're sitting, because that oddest of all things did indeed happen, when faced with the possibility of becoming a fat balding Nazi-chum, Arnie did the decent thing. Better dead than Smeg indeed.