10. We don't need no education
Rimmer has never been averse to blaming others for his misfortunes. Whether it's his parents' lack of cuddles, his misunderstanding of soup serving suggestions, or his past lives, Arnie reckons he's had it tough. When we found out it was Ace, and not him, who'd been kept back a year at school everything made sense. He's not a spineless guff of a man because he didn't get the breaks, he’s just a spineless guff of a man.
9. Planet potting
Lister is a man of limited skills, all things considered. He's not a specialist when it comes to navigation, or mechanics or, frankly, anything that doesn't involve burping. One thing he is good for though is a bit of pool with planets, so when the task of coming over all Ronnie O'Sullivan to avoid being sucked into a white hole came up there was only one man with enough chalk on his cue. Beat that, John Virgo.
7. Ace, Ace baby
One of the most dramatic developments of series four was the realisation that Rimmer's genes weren't in fact made from leftover bits of weasels, but had in fact the possibility of greatness lurking somewhere beneath their flared-nostril producing charm. When Ace rocked up with hair to die for and more courage than a lion made of steel we saw Rimmer in a whole new light. Still a massive coward, but now a coward with a cool alternate self.
6. Kryten QC
Rimmer managed to find himself in some rather hot water when he landed on Justice World. It seemed he was responsible for the accident which wiped out the Red Dwarf crew, so was facing a hefty stretch for 1,000 plus murders. Luckily Krytie proved, with the help of Lister and Cat, that Rimmer was merely a git with no responsibilities on board, and that the absence of Crunchie bars wasn't the root cause of the calamity. Who needs enemies…
5. Very candid camera
Who among us hasn't wondered what it'd be like to spend a day as a chicken? Ok, just us then. Either way, when Kryten got a taste of life as a homo sapien thanks to the transmogrifier he wasn't exactly bowled over by our lack of features. The nipples didn't work - how's a fella supposed to pick up radio with those things? Other bits of his new anatomy didn't meet his approval either, it’s best we never speak of that Polaroid again, eh?
4. War of the (wax) worlds
Rimmer may not have many opportunities to live out his Napoleon fantasies, but when he was confronted with a ragged band of wax droids he did get the opportunity to be the universe's most baffling drill sergeant. Whether balling out Gandhi over his nappy or calling it on with Sartre, Rimmer showed that his understanding of military strategy was second to none. At least until the…er…unpleasantness.
3. Making a toast
Picture the scene. Holly's managed, by a slight miscalculation, to amass an I.Q which makes Stephen Hawking look like Titus Bramble. Who would you give the chance to ask her about the meaning of life and all manner of other BIG questions? Brian Cox? Piers Morgan? A toaster with an unhealthy fixation on providing heated bread-based snacks? Sadly it was the toaster, who was clearly only the second best option on that list.
2. Vindaloo, vindaloo…
Let's face it, there aren't many of us who haven't had a bad experience with a vindaloo in our time. However, it is with a degree of certainty we say that none of us ever had as bad an experience as Listie and the boys, when his mutton turned into a monster. Fortunately for all involved, Listie knows a thing or two about handling hot dinners, and managed to dispatch the blighter with a handy dose of lager.
1. Telling porkies (well, fruities)
Some say honesty’s a virtue, but if you're trapped on a ship with Rimmer it's fair to say the odd white lie may be useful. Lister's campaign to teach Kryten the art of fibbing was basic, involving the less-than-elaborate prop of a fruit bowl. He did crack Krytie's addiction to truth though, with the pointy-headed one calling a banana "an off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden." Well, their willingness to listen to reason's probably pretty similar…